If you haven’t already seen, our new bundle of joy has finally arrived and the lovely Christina from Ladybug Home & Design has written me a letter. I did read the letter before I’d given birth and had to stop reading a couple of times because I was bawling my eyes out (hormones or what?) so I have no idea how emotional I’ll be reading it again at the same time as you.
Congratulations on the arrival of your sweet little boy! The arrival of your new son means you are now a family of four and Toby will forever be the “big brother”. Toby now has a lifelong friend whom he will share memories of long summer days and exciting Christmas mornings. Their school friends will come and go but they will always have each other.
Now, let’s talk about the next couple weeks and months. If you have not already discovered it, motherhood has gotten a lot harder. The arrival of your baby son will interrupt the daily routine that you have established with Toby. Since the minute Toby was conceived, he has depended on you to be there for him and only him. Your love for him as your first baby and now the big brother will grow but you now have another helpless baby boy that depends on you.
You will have moments when you will be torn between Toby and the new baby. You may have to let the new baby cry a few minutes longer than you hope so you can give Toby the help he needs. There will probably be moments when Toby will be sitting crying while you finish changing or feeding the baby. Try not to feel guilty or overwhelmed because you are a loving mother and tomorrow they will remember the cuddles and not the few minutes of tears.
Bedtime will probably be emotional and total crazy for a while but soon it will get easier. You may not be able to give long bedtime cuddles. Having two little ones in the bathroom while using the toilet is an interesting experience. Your evenings will once again be filled with taking care of a baby and being too tired to have a meaningful conversation with Jamie. You will want to jump for joy when both children take a nap at the same time but you will be too tired to even move. You will feel like “super woman” the first time you able to leave the house with both children completely dressed and without forgetting extra wipes, nappies, clothes and toys.
All the new challenge are completely worth it when your baby son’s eyes light up with joy when he hears and/or sees his brother. Toby’s voice will be instantly recognised by your new son and he will react to it. Soon your baby son will start looking for his big brother and want to play with him. The lifelong brotherhood bond is instant. Enjoy these sweet moments.
Toby will probably also have moments of wanting to push his little brother out of your lap or not understand why you can’t come running to his calls but these moments will pass. Focus on getting through the first 12 weeks because it will get easier. By the time your baby son is 12 weeks, he will be smiling and be more playful. You can lay him on the floor and he will be content for a little while. Hopefully he will be sleeping longer at night and less feedings. You will have developed a new daily routine. You will have moments when you will want to cry or run away but it will get easier.
Enjoy everyday with your new baby soon because time will fly by quicker than it did with Toby. Sending your family lots of love.
Note from Jade
It’s so lovely to read something like this to make you feel better about yourself and be reassured you’re doing a good job, even when you think you’re not. Thank you for writing to me xx