Just recently I keep catching glimpses of the boys and thinking “when did they get so big?”. Both are coming on in leaps and bounds in their own ways; Toby’s speech is getting better by the day, as is Ted’s, and then he seems to be growing up all of a sudden too. Toby is beginning to look older; his face is becoming less babyish and he’s losing lots of his softer features. Ted still has some of that squishiness about him but will shoot you the mother of all grown up grins and it’s slowly sinking in that this is kind of it. They really aren’t babies any more.
It’s crazy to think that Ted is now 2 years old. I mean it’s just madness, he was just a baby last week wasn’t he? Toby too? Reality is dawning and quickly. Toby starts school in September and while I know he’ll love it and it’ll be the best thing for him, part of me pines for time to stand still for a bit. They’re both at their own incredibly cheeky stages; Toby seriously pushing boundaries, telling me to ‘stop moaning, mummy’ and ‘I not talking to you’ with a full on threenager attitude, and Ted’s showing glimpses of the terrible twos all while ‘trying things on’ followed quickly by a cuddle to see if you’re going to tell him no.
Ted’s naps have been cut out on the basis that he just kicks around for 1-3 hours past bedtime because he’s had a 1-3 hour nap during the day. This obviously means I can get quite a bit more done during the day, as in getting out of the house, because I don’t have to worry about working around his nap time. However, it means less time on the blog because I’m chasing around after two kiddos during the day at home.
My last update was quite a lot of weeks ago now and it’s just unthinkable how much has changed in that time. But just look at these two grown up boys.
Last week these two were hard work. They’d been such hard work that I ended up saying that I was “done with parenting” and I was “just over it” and I absolutely was. After having a whole day and night away from them (I was on a hen do, I didn’t just book a random hotel) I came back feeling a little more positive. They have been so much better this week so far, I’d even go so far as to say ‘enjoyable’ to have. It just goes to show that parenting is not all rainbows and butterflies, lovely days out and perfect Instagram pictures. It’s hard freaking work to the point where I’d happily walk out of the door and leave them to it. With one who’s in full “threenager” mode, moving quickly on to the “feral fours” I’ve got a second who’s close behind and is slowly hitting the “terrible twos”. Sometimes you just need that time away to reset yourself and appreciate your kiddos that little bit more. You’d think they were no trouble in this picture wouldn’t you? ????
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Their relationship is beginning to be all of the things I’d imagined when I was still pregnant with Ted; wrestling each other on the floor, fighting and arguing, lots of ‘grassing’ on each other but most of all, and my favourite thing, is their cuddles. Toby always tells people ‘Teddy my brother’, ‘Teddy so cute’, ‘I love Teddy’ and will cuddle him really tight. It’s the cutest thing ever. And so are they.
I’ve been off the Insta grid for over two weeks and I really wanted to take a step back and think about what I was using it for. I constantly felt like I needed to post more than I could keep up with just “because I’ve got less than 10k followers” as that’s what the experts say. Well, I don’t want or need an expert any more. I was overthinking it, trying to capture the perfect moment for Instagram and I was hating every second. I would even go so far as to say this became my least favourite platform to work with because it was stressful. But I’m back and with a fresh and clear mind about what I’ll post and when. I want Instagram to be just that – those “instant” snapshots from my day or week, no pressure to post 2-3 times a day or record an Insta story 10-30 times a day, I want it to just ‘be’ without all the pressure that goes with it to make me a ‘successful’ IGer or influencer. I’m accepting I don’t have the ‘ideal feed’ and that my kids are involved and my face sometimes crops up and that that’s ok with some people and not so ok with others. This space is mine, these squares are my life and I’ll live my IG life out without the pressure of trying to be as good as everyone else. ???? Photo courtesy of Toby and Teddy’s Pop because I don’t have one ✌????