Hard bloody work. That’s what it’s like! Since I’ll soon be finding out what it’s like to have a newborn and a toddler soon, I wanted to put down how I feel about being pregnant and having a toddler. Is it really that hard? I’m not sure I’m coping as well as I thought I might.
I’ve just had a few days recently that haven’t necessarily been demanding and full on, but have just genuinely felt like seriously hard work. I think it’s because I’m tired. I’m not best pleased that I keep waking up way before I could, especially when it’s nothing to do with Toby or Jamie. All the extra blood I have pumping around my body has swollen all the vessels in my nose which means it feels well and truly blocked 24/7. I literally have bogeys the size of saucepan lids, a seriously dry mouth and while we’re at it just throw in some random nosebleeds to top it off.
Anyway, I digress, and you probably didn’t want to know about my nasal habits. If I’m not sleeping due to this wicked blocked nose then it’s because Toby is teething or I can’t get comfortable – there’s nothing like a 50 point turn to roll from your left side to your right, and back again, general pregnancy insomnia and all round feeling agitated. The lack of sleep is a killer. It’s not too bad during your first pregnancy because you do have opportunities to nap without having to think about what your 19 month old is doing.
This leads to everyone being in different moods. I normally have my ‘face on’ because I need a full 12 hours to get over the crap 6-7 hours I’ve just had, whereas Jamie has slept like a baby and is quite happy, and Toby has never been more full of energy. It’s not a great set up to the day to be fair and, even if I get the opportunity to sleep during the day, I’ve already found myself doing something around the house, or trying to catch up with the blog. I am no day time napper and know I’d wake up feeling much worse.
Anyone who is sleep deprived will know that patience does tend to wear thin, and I have to admit (sorry, Jamie) that I have been an utter cow. Sometimes he’s only trying to be nice, or ask a question and I’ll jump down his throat because I’ve misheard him. Toby has been snapped at, the poor boy, so I always make an effort to give him a cuddle and kiss and tell him I didn’t mean it if I’ve completely overreacted about something he’s done.
Speaking of which, you have a constant battle going on in your head about whether you want to sit down for your spare 5 minutes, or play with your child? I tend to make sure I’m interacting with him, even if I have to force myself. These last few weeks of him being an only child are precious and I want him to remember that I played with him. In fairness, he’s quite happy kicking a football round the kitchen on his own if I really need to sit down, but I’d so much rather play with him.
Physically, it’s a work out. I’ve had to cut down on picking Toby up like I usually would because I am struggling. It affects my lower back, my sciatic nerve and occasionally I’ll get a sharp pain across my bump. Obviously, the bigger you get the harder it becomes. I thought I’d be able to get used to it but I’ve had to listen to my body, so now if he wants to be picked up, I’ll get right down to his level so he can give me a cuddle while I’m sitting down.
You remember when you had baby brain right? And it soon turned to mummy brain? Well, mummy brain doesn’t disappear when you get pregnant, or revert back to baby brain. You get both of them together. I am now utterly forgetful and completely useless unless I’ve written it down somewhere, and even then I have to remember to look!
I honestly can’t wait until I have a newborn and a toddler. Yes, you may think it’s harder but I’m praying it’ll be easier. At least I’ll hopefully be able to implement some sort of routine without sacrificing the time Toby gets with me. I’ll be able to pick him up again how I used to and twirl around with him, dance in the kitchen without feeling like I’m going to put something out of place and play football in the garden with him without getting too breathless.
How did you find being pregnant and having a toddler? Was it easier once the baby was born?