So the Christmas season is upon us and you are pregnant. If you are anything like me I was absolutely dreading the party season, but in the end it actually ended up being fantastic and I would definitely opt to be pregnant over Christmas next time. In fact, I wish I could be pregnant every Christmas and here are 10 reasons why;
1. You hold the get out card
Being around drunk people when you’re pregnant can be hard work and draining. You are at your work do and if it’s not Margaret the office manager repeating herself all night, then it’s every other woman and her dog wanting to offload their “horrendous” birth stories on to you, and quite frankly you don’t need it.
The beauty of being pregnant is that you can choose the events you go to like a Queen. You don’t fancy the office party? Don’t go. You don’t fancy going to the pub after work before you finish for Christmas? Don’t go. Want to leave events early? Yawn loudly and touch your belly and you’ll be excused. Being pregnant is great because you do not have to feel obliged to do anything and you can be as social or unsocial as you want and no one will bat an eyelid.
2. Stuff your face all Christmas
Christmas time is all about the food. You are faced with lots of Christmas goodies everywhere you go; from boxes of chocolates to mince pies. Now, before you were pregnant, you would have to be very careful around the Christmas season because you NEEDED to squeeze in to that little black dress for your Christmas night out but not this year, no no. Embrace the fact you don’t have to squeeze in to anything this year and eat what the hell you want. Get in those maternity pants at the start of every day and fill your boots to your heart’s content.
3. Sit back, relax and put your feet up
So Christmas time means lots of meals with family and friends and after you have eaten your scrummy dinner, you get up and offer to help clean the dishes and that’s when you will hear those beautiful words, “no, no you sit down and relax, you are not doing anything”. What a shame hey? You really wanted to do those dishes didn’t you? Enjoy it because next year you will probably be doing them with a baby hanging off your leg.
4. Fresh and rich
Many of your friends and family will spend a lot of their December hungover. Not only will they be dealing with a hangover from hell but they will also be trying to piece together how they spent so much money on their night out, but not you! Oh no, you my dear will wake up fresh every morning with your bank account flourishing. Treat yourself to a nice pregnancy massage or pedicure then hit the shops.
5. You get told how great you look ALL the time
Unfortunately, not every woman is lucky enough to carry the perfect bump along with the lavish locks and glowing skin during pregnancy. You may have put on a little weight and you could be now modelling an extra chin but ‘HELLO’ you are carrying a baby. There is just something so beautiful about a pregnant woman carrying a baby. People will be giving you compliments left, right and centre. Take those compliments, embrace those compliments and your extra cleavage of course.
6. Say no to the foods you hate without feeling bad
So for the last few years you have hated your mother-in-law’s “special Brussel sprouts” but didn’t have the heart to tell her. You chewed them as best as you could without pulling the “hate this” face as she goes on about how good they are and they really don’t taste like Brussel sprouts. But not this year. This year you are in control and you can blame everything you don’t like on the nausea. “Oooo I really can’t stomach them this year… what a shame”.
7. You can have a nap wherever and whenever you like
Getting a bit bored of the family Christmas meal and you just want to go on your phone without appearing rude? Rub your eyes and hold your back and say, “I need to have a little lie down.” Go and lie down, play on your phone to your heart’s content and then have a little nap to finish off.
8. Get some much needed help
Hate delivering the Christmas cards? Or putting up the tree? Express your concern about your bad back and get a hot water bottle on it as soon as you can. You can’t possibly do those jobs with a bad back; you’ll be surprised how many jobs you can offload on to your friends and family. You will feel like Father Christmas controlling his elves; just remember to say thank you.
9. Live in your onesie
You will have lots of visitors delivering Christmas cards and popping in for brews over the Christmas period. You used to rush to get a shower and get changed before they come round but this year don’t bother. You’re PREGNANT and you need to be warm and comfortable and no one will say anything about it.
10. Christmas shopping benefits
Need the bathroom in that busy Christmas period and the toilets have queues out the door? Push your belly right out and rub your belly, breathe heavily so that the woman in front turns round and lets you go in front. Repeat this process again and again and before you know it you will be shopping again, skipping through those aisles.
So to all you beautiful pregnant ladies out there, I hope this helps you feel a little more in the Christmas spirit. Get in those maternity pants immediately and enjoy.
Love Carla xxxx