One of the hardest things Jamie and I have ever had to think about, and agree on, is a baby name. And it isn’t any easier our second time around either. You’ll think you’ve found a nice name, the perfect name. Then you’ll immediately remember you already know someone with that name who you can’t stand!
In both of my pregnancies, one of the first questions I have is ‘do you know what you’re having?’, quickly followed by ‘have you got a name yet?’. If you’re pregnant with your first now, you’ll soon become numb to these questions and won’t even have to think about your answer. It just becomes a standard, robotic response.
When it comes to giving your baby a name, it is helpful if you find out whether you’re having a boy or a girl, and if you don’t find out, the job is twice as hard because you need to have two lists of names! I didn’t want to know the sex at first with Toby, but we ended up finding out, and this time round I really wanted to know. We already had a very long list of girls’ names for Toby, and very few boys’ names, and sure enough it’s another boy – making this thrice as hard, if that’s possible? We only managed a 3 name shortlist before, and now the names we didn’t use, we don’t really like. Handy, huh?
It has made life easier in that we’ve only had to think of boys’ name for the past few months, but harder because it’s usually boys who turn out to be the little buggers, and I already know several boys who I can’t stand (as awful as that sounds – sorry!) and would never have my child have the same name as them.
So what did we look for in a name? Some names just scream ‘ASBO’, I won’t tell you my list so as not to offend! We wanted something that was timeless and that would fit in with Jamie’s last name (lets just say we can’t have William, or Thor), as well as one that would fit in with Toby.
One of the big reasons we found it so difficult with Toby is because my other half was a secondary school teacher at the time. We would often go backward and forward with names. If I liked a name, he taught a naughty one of those. And if he suggested a name, I wasn’t that keen! In fact, it ended up one of his nicer students that gave him the inspiration for one of our previous choices, so he came home and suggested it.
I should warn any expectant mothers out there to be prepared to have their feelings slightly hurt because once you reveal the shortlist of names to friends and family, they might seem to like it – ‘Ooh.. that’s nice’, but they’re just lying and will chat behind your back about it. However, if you’re like me, and very open with your family, when I told them we liked Toby they told me it ‘’sounds like a name you’d give a dog’’. Please believe me when I say the joke is eventually on them, because we ended up using our doggy sounding name and they now wouldn’t have it any other way!
Then there’s the dreaded conversation about the middle name. Do you give them just the one.. two maybe? Should you have one at all? Does it roll off the tongue and go with their first name? Should you use a Grandad’s name or one of your Dads’ names? If you do, will you upset the other one? It can be quite exhausting, so you do what’s best for you and don’t worry about upsetting anyone else – this is your baby after all.
We eventually got our selection down to 3 forenames and 3 middle names with Toby and we would “name him when we saw him”. Although I think in both of our heads, we were in 100% agreement about what he was going to be called.
Finally, he came into our lives on 30th August. I was still drugged up and Jamie, baby boy in hands, turned round and asked me ‘are we calling him what we said?’. Since we hadn’t actually verbally agreed on anything and bearing in mind at that point I was so out of it, I can honestly say that he could’ve called him Rudolph and I’d have gone along with it. Luckily, Toby Simon (Simon after his Grandad) didn’t end up with a dodgy name!
Now, the arrival of baby number two is imminent and we’ve actually managed to pick a name already, although we’ve recently made a slight amendment to the middle names and we haven’t had to think about it so much either. I can’t wait to introduce him to you in a few short weeks! What do you think he’ll be called?
What did you call your baby? How long did it take you to find a name you liked?
Jade x
Completely agree- both of us are teachers and it makes the decision even harder. We decided on T-Rex because he looked like a T-rex in the first baby scan at 6 weeks.
Thanks for linking up #bigfatlinky
Great post. A lot of work goes into naming a baby. It’s not like you can change your mind a couple of months down the line! Is it just me or do some names sound adorable, and then you think of them when the child is older than say 5, and it doesn’t work anymore? #bigfatlinky
Debbie
http://www.myrandommusings.blogspot.com
There’s always deed poll if you really don’t like it, but you get 6 weeks after they’re born anyway to try out a few names if you can’t decide! I always think like that too. Will it suit them when they’re 5, 15, 50 and 95? Haha x
Ah names, so difficult, so much responsibility!
We had Boo’s name and middle name agree early on if she was a girl and we had no ideas for boys names. When we found out Boo was indeed a girl it was such a relief because we could use the name we had agreed upon, our shortlist of one.
Though my mum did cause panic and say, well what if she doesn’t look like a ‘Boo’ when she is born! But she did and the name really suits her.
We only told close family Boo’s name before she was born as I didn’t want … oh I knew one of those and she was horrid etc.
Boo’s middle name is my husbands grandma’s middle name (she passed away not long before I got pregnant with Boo so it just felt right. Boo’s first name has meaning for us too. Which is why it felt so right when we had found it.
We also did have the added problem of the fact that Boo’s name needed to be pronounceable in Danish too as my husband is Danish and so are his two boys!
Oh I can’t wait to find out what name you go for and I love Toby it is gorgeous!
I know. I think it’s the responsibility of naming a child something they can grow old with – not like these “names in fashion”, that’s the hardest part. Ooh, I remember saying that to my OH which is why we shortlisted 3 names, even though we both knew which one we’d really like. We’ve mentioned the name to family members in conversation and obviously different generations have different opinions. Wow, you really did have to think of something then – especially if you need to be able to pronounce it in Danish. That’s so lovely! Thank you xx
Delighted I found your blog. Really enjoying it. Congrats on baby number two, not long now! We called our baby boy Billy after his grandad Billy (on my boyfriends side). We kept it a secret and told nobody until Billy came to visit his first ever grandchild in the hospital. Tears were shed. It was really lovely! #bigfatlinky
It was quite easy, we wanted beginning with the same first letter as ours so we just kept scrolling through all names until found the one we liked
choosing a name is hard you’re right! We don’t know gender but thankfully the few names we do like are gender neutral. At least, I think so. Haha.
The middle names have been difficult too, wanting to honour family members without offending others!
We’re still struggling with a name and she’s overdue & will be born any day now! Boys names, well we thought of loads, but it’s been really hard to think of girls names, mainly because I hate girly names, and associate names with people I know who I don’t particularly like as you’ve mentioned. There’s one we agree on, but I’m saying nowt till I see her 😀
I hate how when we have discussed names with people, just running ideas by them, they’ve then assumed that’s definitely what you’re calling them and gone around telling people!! That’s the main reason I’m not mentioning this name incase we look at her and think, “nah, that doesn’t suit you” 🙂
We chose Holly Mia for our first girl however if she had been a boy she would have been Matthew James and joanna lillie for our second daughter (6months old) and if she had been a boy then she would have been jack James (jj for short)
We found it hard finding girls names and joanna was named the day before she came..
Good luck
Tara xx
Ahh those are lovely names Tara! We’ve found boys names much harder than girls.. our list was tiny! It’s not easy trying to find something to go with Toby and something we both like x
Names! AAAAAH why do babies have to have names???? We are clueless about baby 2, which we were for M too. We won’t be finding out sex so will have to try and think of names for both sexes. It is such a hard task
It’s so hard isn’t it? It has to go with everything as well as suiting the baby. You have double the trouble on your hands then with trying to pick a name – eek! I’m sure whatever you go with, it’ll be perfect x
I’m so glad everything went ok for you today!
My husband named my second daughter, he had a theme, I didn’t. I confess that I still don’t really like it. I shorten it and, to be fair , she has grown into her shortened name but I don’t love her name at all. I had a section too and the midwife asked what she was called, we didn’t know what we were having and had agreed on a boy’s name, I said one thing, he said another, the midwife said shall we wait? But he insisted. I swear I will never get over it ha! I am sure you will pick something lovely, Toby is a lovely name xx
Thanks Lisa, so happy he has grown.
Oh really? It’s a good job that Toby was my favourite name out of the three that we’d picked, although I’d have been happy had he been called any of them really. I remember my auntie telling me what she’d called her little girl and I hated it at first, but I couldn’t imagine her being called anything different now xx
Aww I can’t wait to find out what you’ve picked. I really struggled to think of a name. We just couldn’t decide on anything mutually, then one day James just said ‘what about *******?’ And he’s been referred to as that by everyone every since! I don’t think his mum was too keen at first but I think now everyone knows we are sticking with it it’s tough. The harder part was a middle name. My OH has an odd surname! And on my mums side all the boys have the Middle name Jones. As far back as our family history goes. So we are giving him that. It’s also the middle name of my brother, so a nice tie X
You don’t have long to wait, I’ll be introducing him soon! I LOVE when that happens, it just clicks doesn’t it? We call our bump Razor at the moment, so much so that the name we’ve actually picked sounds weird when we refer to it. Oh the worst is when they have an awkward surname, Jamie’s is a nightmare.. truly! Ahh, a nice easy middle name choice, I like it though xx
Aww, it’s so hard choosing names, especially not wanting to call them the same as someone you dislike! We had one first and middle of each gender chosen for our first son and then struggled with the second boy! If I ever have a 3rd boy it might remain nameless, I don’t think I can think of another!! X
Boys names are too hard! Our middle names are actually easy as we’re using family members names, but the first name is a nightmare! No more boys please, haha x