Before you read the rest of this post I want to say that, above all, my main concern is that of mine and the baby’s health. This does not make having a caesarean any less daunting for me, and I am still allowed to have concerns. I have seen lots of things recently where women are being belittled for having, what I think, are rather normal concerns besides that of the safe delivery of their child and their own health. Having a caesarean is not a choice for me, it is mandatory and even though I went into this pregnancy knowing full well it would end up this way, it’s still something I’m try to process before it happens in a couple of weeks time.
Feeling Like I’m Being Robbed
I’m upset, confused and, above all, frustrated about why things had to happen the way they did when I gave birth to Toby. I hate hearing about women who laboured naturally without a hitch and gave birth with no intervention because I get jealous. Why couldn’t my body do that? Why didn’t my body do that? Am I less of a woman because of it? Why did I need help? Yes, you could just say it’s one of those things, but that one thing has rendered me incapable of birthing anymore children naturally because the risk of it affecting me long term is high. This is why I have no choice. Have ’em out the sunroof, or end up incontinent.
The Recovery
Based on the previous issues I had with my body’s reaction to an episiotomy, and the ridiculously long healing time, I’m worried that this time, with a full on operation, that the recovery is going to be one long, hard slog. Admittedly, the episiotomy wound had not been stitched back together correctly, the stitches did not dissolve and I had to remove them myself and it then required corrective surgery 5 months later to remove extra tissue. It makes me wonder whether my caesarean wound will heal correctly, or with adhesions, and whether I will have issues with the stitches once again.
Looking After The Wound
My fears in this area are probably irrational and completely unfounded, but not completely impossible. I’m one of those ‘worst case scenario’ people and it’s hard work on the brain! I’m worried that Toby is going to come running and jump on me and the wound split open, or ridiculously that his foot is going to go straight in there! Luckily, I have some aftercare essentials, so I think this will help eradicate those particular thoughts. I’m convinced I’m going to end up with a serious infection, which then leads to septicaemia (yes.. yes I know!). I’ve got a few other things up my sleeve to hopefully help with the healing too.
Feeling Everything Happening
I’m not really sure, but I feel as though I’m going to feel them cut me open and move everything around in there. I worry that the spinal/epidural isn’t going to work properly. I think this probably stems from me being in theatre last time. I was so drugged up that I kept getting the answers wrong when they were asking me if I could, or couldn’t, feel what they were doing. I’m aware that I should be fully conscious and much more alert this time, but you never know!
Breastfeeding
This isn’t necessarily a worry, but it is something that concerns me. Obviously going through the process of a natural birth all your hormones are released and your body just kind of gets on with it. Nobody has talked to me about how a caesarean will affect my chances. I know I was able to breastfeed last time, so I know that if I struggle this time I will genuinely find it difficult. I just know I’ll feel like I’ve failed, both in being able to birth a child and feed him. I’m sure with the right support, and making sure I do everything I can will help to soften the blow.
There are lots of other reasons I’m not looking forward to it but these are the ones that concern me the most. Any words of advice are always appreciated!
I’m currently weighing up the battle between trying for vbac after emsc last time round. My main concern about having an elective section this time round is the recovery and lack of support at hand. Last time round I struggled to breastfeed and after 5 days of my son being in neonatal…firstly due to low blood sugar then jaundice, then because I was trying to feed him myself, I gave up in defeat so we could just go home and start being a famiily. It was only after my midwife came to visit a couple of days after and told me no wonder I couldn’t due to the amount of trauma my body had went through, I could have hugged her. No one at the hospital had explained that could have been the reason (even with the hospital BF expert hooking me up to a double breast pump and turning it up so high, I ended up with water blisters on my nipples!) my milk didn’t come through. I’m scared this time round if I opt for a vbac and it ends up unsuccessful, that could end up poorly again and recovery is delayed. Plus its all down to whether this baby will be like his big brother, and be a whopper so vbac will just be totally out of the question. The unknown is just so hard. Hope it all goes well for you, try not to worry too much…which is easy to say, not so easy to do! Who said this pregnancy/parenting malarky was easy?!! x
This is exactly what I’m worried about. I think the surgery will go as planned, it’s the recovery that worries me the most. I’ve only got a couple of close people I can rely on for support and help so I’m intending to make the most of my time in hospital however long that might be. Oh bless your heart, that sounds so tough. It’s something I would have probably struggled with mentally so it’s always nice when someone tells you is not something you could’ve helped. I think if I’d had that kind of experience I’d want something a bit more controlled, rather than rushed and would probably opt for an elective c-section. Having said that, I’d also want to try for a VBAC, but there has to be a point where they say ‘enough’ before it progresses too much. It’s definitely not easy, I envy all these ‘earth mothers’ that breeze it, haha xx
A lot of these were worries I had too. I was so scared that my scar was just going to open but after the first week it wasn’t so bad and I was a lot more confident knowing the movements I cojld make etc. My only advice would be to keep up the pain meds. I tried to be a bit of a hero for the first couple days and didn’t always take them then regretted it when the pain hadn’t eased!! Xx
Your right to have all these concerns (as these ladies have already said) o know how you feel I was induced 40 +12 and had an awful time, from pessary going in at 6pm I had immediate contractions and had to be ran to theatre for an emergency c section because baby was in distress (and so was I from the constant contractions) I had a spinal and barely felt a thing only slight tugging, I agree about the painkillers keep on top of them but don’t do too much,even though you feel ok your not (hubby had to keep reminding me I’d just had major surgery) I do feel there isn’t enough support for mum’s who have been through a traumatic birth,I didn’t get asked once how I was feeling and had to ask them to explain what had happened to me and my baby. And I do feel robbed as well,its hard to explain to people but I do feel like why couldn’t I do that?
Enough of my ramblings!! You will do great, like another lady said your allowed to worry and it’s good to a little bit but don’t let it over power you, enjoy welcoming your new baby into the world, it doesn’t matter how they arrive as long as they (and you) are safe xxxx
I can’t offer any advice as I didn’t have a Csection but as far as making you less of a women not at all Its whats best for your health your body and that also means for your baby, so don’t feel guilty at all. Have you talked these things through with your midwife particularly the breastfeeding concern I’m sure they’d be able to help and put your mind at rest lots o women are already producing the colostrum a good few weeks before babies even due thanks for linking up to #sundaystars x
Thank you Amy. Hopefully when I have the pre-op chat I can speak through those concerns. My midwife just tells me I’ll be ok and to stop worrying really – typical! x
You poor thing, those are all valid worries but you will be fine. I had absolutely no problem breastfeeding after an elective section, I actually wore a tummy tucker after to suck in mu tummy and to support my back and protect the scar. My recovery after a second section was way way easier than the first, I was back running 4 weeks after and felt great. Stay on top of the pain medication for the first while, take it easy getting in and out of bed. I had an epidural first section and i didn’t like that at all but a spinal on the elective section and you couldnt feel a thing only pressure really. You’ll be great dont worry!! x
Thanks Eimear. I’ve got a c-section belt so hoping that will help. Where did you get your tummy tucker from? I like keeping my options open.
Running after 4 weeks? Oh my goodness, if only! x
Please stop worrying. I had two caesarians and don’t regret a thing. Yes it is surgery but my recovery was quite swift (about 6 weeks) and you are encouraged to be back on your feet as soon as possible. I did not feel anything. The registrar told me that the sensation is a bit like someone washing dishes in your tummy – and that’s what it was like. With my second C section there was a little more pulling but honestly nothing to worry about.
And as for a ‘natural birth’ – please don’t be bullied by the “I had a vaginal birth so I’m more of a woman than you are” crowd. It’s utter rubbish. The most important thing is that you and the healthy of your baby are protected. It’s not supposed to be a bear grylls endurance test.
Having a C section shouldn’t make any difference to breast feeding either. Have you talked to your midwife about how anxious you’re feeling so that she can put your mind at rest?
I think it’s because I don’t know what to expect whatsoever. There’s been lots of discussion about how this baby is going to come out, and now that’s decided they’ve given me very little, if any, information at all. I don’t have that talk until Tuesday next week, I think they just assume that I’m going to look into it myself.
I have spoken to her about my concerns and she’s basically just said ‘ooh, you’ll be fine, don’t worry’ – I don’t think she’s taking me too seriously! x
i can only talk for myself, but my recovery after my second section was far quicker and easier then the first. I think it’s because I was more aware of what I could and couldn’t do so therefore didn’t push myself the second time round. I felt I was more relaxed and prepared. The first time I was frightened of the unknown and didn’t know what to expect, it was the anticipation that scared me the most. All your worries and concerns are perfectly natural, Every mother has them whether they are having a natural birth or section. It’s also understandable as you had trouble with the stitches the first time. Allow yourself to have worries but also try and keep positive and keep the end goal in sight. Soon you’ll have your baby and that will be all that matters, the fact you didn’t have a natural birth will be irrelevant. I hope it all goes well for you 🙂 #MummyMonday
Thanks so much for your words Lianne! I think it’ll just be knowing what my limits are when it comes to recovering. At least I know I’m definitely having one and can ask lots of people what worked for them. I’ve got a few things to try out and that’s putting my mind at rest a bit. Not long now x
You are totally within your rights to have concerns, ignore what others say. I wanted a water birth with minimal pain relief and ended up having an instrumental delivery with a spinal block. If this hadn’t have gone to plan I would of had to have an emergency C-section which I was petrified about. A C-section is defiantly not an easy way out.
Thanks Stacey. That’s what I ended up having the last time, more or less and hated that, let alone having to have a caesarean! x
I can totally understand you concerns. I had an emergency section with M and I definitely, to this day, feel like I was robbed of a “normal” birth and it can upset me still.
With M the recovery was actually very quick. I had M on the Monday, home Thursday and went for a 2 mile walk on the Friday. I was off painkillers by day 10 and driving after 3 weeks. However She was my first so I am scared that if I have another section that the recovery won’t be quite so smooth :(We had beads to close the wound and they were removed by the midwife on day 5 I think (on my 30th birthday no less lol)
I was worried about it opening but a lot of the healing was done in the hospital but yes I am worried M would open a scar if I had another and I have two boisterous dogs who got nowhere near me for a few weeks just in case.
I did have septicaemia but that was from M’s metonym in body rather than the scar and I honestly didn’t know I was unwell even though I was a high risk, SEPSIS 6 patient :S
They will test to see if you can feel things before they cut you open and yes you do feel them in you. It was described to me as them tugging washing in a washing machine and that’s a pretty good description.
Breastfeeding was an issue with us and we never managed. My milk was not produced cos if the trauma of the section and the infections I had. I was told, but only once I was so emotional and home from hospital, by the midwive that is is very common to have problems breastfeeding after a section cos your hormones don’t get going soon enough. We had to give up in the end 🙁
It is upsetting. Even though he did come out the right way, the fact that he had to be assisted is what gets me. I was so set on doing it all myself, with as few drugs as possible and it’s so annoying that I didn’t get any of that. Glad to hear you had a quick recovery, that’s what I’m hoping for, but I’m going to have to not beat myself up about it if it takes a bit longer.
I’ve got a c-section belt to help with any bangs and knocks, either from Toby or my general clumsiness so that’s making me feel a bit more at ease about it. I’m sorry you didn’t get to breastfeed, fingers crossed you can with baby number two xxx
My son Timothy was born by caesarean section, which wasn’t my choice. Like you, I wanted a water birth, but it all turned into a very last minute c-section (without me even going into labour) when the monitor detected that he was going into distress. Everything happened too quickly for me to worry, and before I knew it my beautiful son was born. It was a very positive experience and the only thing I felt was a tiny bit of tugging, which was weird but didn’t last long before I was distracted by Timothy’s arrival. Although I didn’t get the birth I wanted, I was able to breastfeed without any problems at all, and I’m still breastfeeding a year on. I felt sore for a few days, but my wound healed really well. I remember being really anxious about my stitches on day 2 after the strain of lifting Timothy in and out of his cot all night, but the nurse checked them and reassured me that they were fine and the wound was healing as it should. The stitches get taken out by the midwife on day 5. I will probably try for a VBAC next time round, but a part of me would be more than happy to have a planned c-section. Anyway, that’s just my experience – hope it helps. I hope the birth is a very positive experience for you too. Good luck! x
That’s really reassuring, thank you so much for leaving a comment. It’s really nice to hear lots of positive things, especially as I’m such a worrier as that won’t help. It’s nice to know that you would do it again and that the experience hasn’t put you off xx
Kathryn – I’m exactly like you! Labour did not progress after 36 hours so had to have an emergency c-section. I feel it was a positive experience for me also.
Jade – You are fully entitled to have concerns about a c-section or come to think of it, about the birth in general. All your concerns are so so valid! Where do you get the belt from? It might be something I should look into because I’ll have an 18 mth old when next one is born. She is quite boisterous!
Thanks lovely, it’s nice to know that the concerns are valid rather than ridiculous! You can get the belt from Boots, it’s a Theraline one. I’ll be reviewing it on the blog after the baby is here. Yes, I know what you mean about boisterous, sometimes he’s absolutely fine, but other times he’s full pelt and I have to watch my belly even now x