I’d been on the pill since I was 14, more for regulation than pregnancy prevention, and had always been ”regular’. However, in 2008 my periods stopped for 6 months and every month I would do a pregnancy test just in case! I carried on taking the pill as usual but eventually I felt I needed to question why it was happening. I was advised by my local Well Woman Clinic nurse that it does sometimes happen and not to worry; it was my body’s way of just having a bit of a break and they would just start again of their own accord, which they did!
So, when I missed a period in September 2013 and had a negative pregnancy test, I didn’t think anything of it. The same happened again each month and I remember the last pregnancy test I took was on 22nd December 2013 – another negative response. I assumed it was 2008 all over again, until I found a lump in my right breast. I immediately panicked, thought the worst and even put that down as the reason for me not getting my periods. The earliest I could get in to see the doctor was 8th January, even after explaining on the phone the nature of the appointment.
The day of the appointment comes round and I’m called in. I explain everything as above and the first thing he asks me to do is to take a pregnancy test and, in between doing it and getting the result, we’d wait for the female chaperone. At this point, he was just wanting to rule things out, so I complied and thought absolutely nothing of it knowing that for the last 6 months they’d always come back negative.
I remember he set a timer on his iPhone so he would know when the test was ready to give us the results, and I was 1000% sure I knew what the result would be – negative of course. I couldn’t be pregnant.
He turned to me slowly and said ”Um.. yeah.. well.. this is positive. That’ll explain the lump”. The chaperone knocked on the door, popped her head in and he promptly sent her away saying that we’d gotten to the root of the issue. I was in complete and utter shock. Everything had been against us even if we were trying for a baby! I wasn’t getting my periods AND I was still taking the pill. Now I had the task of telling my other half not really knowing how he would react but first I had to get through a whole day of work!
When I got to work I sat at my desk as normal, but would find myself kind of day dreaming. I wasn’t alright. I just kept wondering how I’d become pregnant (beside the obvious), what we were going to do and how or if we would cope. We had only been together just shy of a year. I got home that day and took a leftover pregnancy test thinking the doctor was definitely wrong. In fact, it was me who was wrong.
I got straight into bed, clothes and all, thinking that if I went to sleep, I’d wake up and people would be laughing and telling me it was all a big joke. Just as I was about to drift off, my other half walked through the door. Shit. I really was going to have to tell him.
He asked how the doctors appointment had gone as I hadn’t texted him all day. I told him it was ”interesting”. I just couldn’t tell him, so I buried my face in the pillow and hid under the duvet. Eventually, after him asking me repeatedly to tell him what was going on, I reluctantly peeked up from behind the duvet and just came out with it.