Signing Up To Become A Mum

You’ve decided you want to try and get pregnant, or you’re about to be thrust into parenthood by that unexpected pregnancy. Either way, you’re going to become a parent! So, what happens when you sign up to the “club”?

First off, don’t think your house will be as clean as a show home. Your house will look “lived in”. That’s what I like to call it anyway. It starts with nappies, wipes, muslins and extra clothes in every room of the house. This will soon progress to toys and, also in my case, the occasional poo or wee on my living room carpet when Toby’s run away from a nappy change, or we’ve “let him air” for 5 minutes. Do not clean up after they’ve finished playing with something, because they’ll get it straight back out again. Just do it once they’ve gone to bed! Let the mess happen, you’ll have to learn to relax if you’re a neat freak.. but don’t do what I’ve done and that’s relax too much with the rest of the house.

You’ve just bought the latest issue of Gurgle and Prima Baby to read with your cup of tea haven’t you? Well, don’t put your feet up just yet. You probably won’t get to read them because the baby won’t nap, or maybe you’re napping too? Maybe the baby has gotten hold of them from the coffee table and is having a read before you (aka ripping it to shreds!). It’s either that or you get interrupted by them calling ‘mum’ just as you’ve found time to sit back with your now cold cup of tea – speaking of which, you should probably get used to that. Top tip, don’t bother microwaving it either. Gross!

Adult conversation? What’s that? Once you’ve finished babbling with a baby, you’ll be trying to understand the nonsense that comes out of your toddler’s mouth, all while pretending you know exactly what they’re saying – because that’s what mums do! You’ll even find that when you’re not around your kids, you’ll end up talking about them and probably bore your childless friend to death about nappies, baby fashion and lack of sleep. Gone are the days of gossip! If you do manage to get a bit of gossip, unless you’re locked away with your friend in a padded room, or your baby is asleep, you’ll no doubt get interrupted. Babies will climb up the chimney, or finding the smallest space to get stuck in, just to distract you and get your attention!

Do you know how lovely it is to have a chocolate bar, or a little snack, to yourself? Savour those moments now! Soon you’ll have to share everything, but god forbid you pinch a bit of fish finger from their plate!

If you need to ‘pop’ out somewhere to get a pint of milk, or you just fancy a walk round the shops. Do it before the baby is here. You’ll soon be planning an hour’s outing a week in advance with military precision.

You’ll be swapping your latest fashionable hand bag for the “must have” changing bag so you still feel like a cool mum. You’ll be trading in those abs you got at the gym for a slightly less toned mum tum, and ironing piles for.. well.. actual piles. The only facial you’ll be getting is the one from the dishwasher – best done when it’s just finished a load; open and enjoy the lemony fresh (or not) blast of steam!

But don’t worry! The price you pay is very small for the little human you’ve just created and are about to give birth too. It’s worth every stretch mark, every tear of frustration and, quite honestly, I can’t think of any other way I’d rather have it.

What would you add? You can also read about the 20 reasons why I love my child – just a few things that make it worthwhile!