Ageing. It’s a funny old thing isn’t it? (Pun absolutely intended). I remember being about 15 or 16 and thinking that 30 was so old; as in cringeworthy old and you were totally past it. Well scrap that because I’m 30 in less than two weeks and I can guarantee I’m not as ‘cringe’ as I thought a 30 year old would be back then.
There’ve been a few things recently that I’ve noticed come with age. The horrendous 3 day hangover I get after 1 night of drinking when before I could easily manage 3 nights in a row and go into work. The fact that there is no ‘adultier’ adult in the house most of the time who can help me make decisions – like what to have for tea. And that’s another thing, nobody really cooks tea for me anymore. I can’t say I’m really selling this lark but I’ve heard that the 30s are the best years of your life. Mind you, someone also told me that about my 20s – although I think I’d probably say my 20s were my formative years over anything.
I’ve learnt a lot in the last decade and can only look forward to the lessons of life I’ll be learning in the next. But, if you want to know some of the realities of getting older, you’re mostly in the right place.
You’re Not ‘Down With The Kids’
I hate to break it to you, but this is one of those harsh truths. You’ll probably look on at the Gen Z cohort with mixed feelings but while I’m not up to date with what’s in and what’s out of fashion these days, I’m kind of glad I don’t feel like I need to keep up with the latest ‘in’ thing.
I’ve taken the pressure right off to fit in anywhere, to wear the ‘right’ clothes and shoes, to say the ‘right’ thing and that’s ok. It’s a much better space to be in. I’m older, wiser and more comfortable and I’m ‘up’ here well away from the kids (almost).
The Little Things That Make You Happy
When you hit peak adulthood it’s all the little things that make you happy. It’s not usually something fancy, material or expensive. It could be a good night’s sleep, seeing the bottom of the washing basket or getting through all your housework. It could be not having to cook tea one night, the kids telling you they love you and a shower so hot you get out looking red.
Whatever it is, it’s not always about ‘things’ and there’s no reason you can’t find joy in at least one thing every day.
Independence
Watching everyone age around you, whether it’s your parents, grandparents or other extended members of your family really makes you realise how independent you become. It tends to be that the older they get, the less able they become to do certain things whether physically, financially or emotionally and you’re inched into a side of independence that you might not have experienced yet.
While it’s usually a gradual thing I think it’s important to know that even though you’ll be more independent, you might end up taking on more roles to ensure that the people you love remain feeling independent too. Looking ahead to when I’m 90, I’m living for the day I’ll get to roll around on my 8mph mobility scooter living my best, and independent, life.
But for now, I’m quite happy being surrounded by the people in our family and ‘village’ and hope that every single one of them will be around for a long time yet.
Your Memory Isn’t What It Used To Be
I don’t really remember when I realised this, which is ironic, but there was a point where I just knew that I’d have to start writing things down – making lists for lists. Back in the day, pre-children that is, I could remember and recount full conversations, shopping lists, things I needed to do, get and sort out and now… now? If it’s not down on a reminder list or on a bit of paper – don’t count on me remembering.
I don’t know if it’s age, the kids taking up my headspace or both. Either way, the memory is well and truly not what it used to be.
More Adultier Things
I feel like, if you haven’t already, then this is the time to probably start sorting out all the ‘old people’ kind of stuff. I obviously now have three children, a husband and a mortgage but I don’t yet have a will. It’s not something I thought I’d ever have to think about at this age but actually it’s a really good idea to get it sorted (remind me to add it on to my to-do list!).
There are also things like pensions. Pensions Awareness Day was on the 15th September this year and there was quite a lot of coverage. I’ve been relatively ok with paying into a pension but have stopped contributions since I’ve been self employed.
I think people automatically associate things like that with really old age but actually it’s something most of us probably need to get sorted.
What’s been your peak adulthood moment so far?
*This is a collaborative post.