I’ve decided to write a willy nilly post today, something completely unrelated to parenting, family or lifestyle! Malapropisms. I know, I know. It sounds like a medical condition, but trust me it’s not! They’re unintentionally misused words or phrases. Here are just a few that I’ve gathered over a couple of weeks, and some of them will leave you banging your head on the desk! Some you’ll have heard before and others, I’m sure, will give you a little giggle!
- Install fear (like it’s downloadable or something)
- Fire distinguisher (apparently you can really tell the difference with these)
- Chester drawers
- Escape goat (make sure you shut that gate)
- Mints pie (yummy?)
- Ballball (Apparently these hang on your tree at Christmas, along with tinsel)
- I saws (What.. what did you see? An eyesore you say?)
- Lack toast intolerant (Because if you don’t have that toast in the morning, you literally won’t function)
- Comatoast (That lifeless piece of toast you just ate)
- All in tents and purposes (Has anyone got a big enough tent to fit in the people who say this?)
- Old timer’s disease (I think you’re forgetting something…)
- Expresso (Because that espresso should be here on the double!)
- Feeble position (For when you’re feeling a bit vulnerable)
- Garden orderments (Oh gnome, you must be kidding me.)
- Die of beaties (diabetes.. yes.. really)
- The other day someone wanted to renew their vowels ( I take U to be my AEO)
- Treearsh nurse (This was something my sister texted me the other day. Just.. wow)
Do you have any other malapropisms to add to the list? I almost can’t read these without laughing out loud!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA that is all.
Haha! Oh these are brilliant. One of my favourites that an old friend of mine used to say was “I can’t be asked” Because when you can’t be bothered you don’t want to be asked anything! :’)
Oh, I have to admit, I used to say that when I was younger, but only because I wasn’t allowed to swear! It’s amazes me what some adults say sometimes, we’re worse than kids!