Toby. Toby Simon. You are three today. Three whole years have passed since you came into our lives. And what a magical three years it has been. I can’t believe another whole year has passed. I’m sure it was only your second birthday just a couple of weeks ago. How is the fact that you are three even possible?
I thought parenting might get easier as you got older. But it’s gotten harder. Each day I have to accept that you’re becoming more independent, and while it’s amazing to watch you grow, I miss the days when you needed me. When you couldn’t do a thing without me. But now you’re happy to play with your favourite trains, chase around after a balloon or sit and giggle at ‘Masha and the Bear’ or tell me what you want to do. Your little giggle when you’re laughing at things and nobody knows why. You did it in the car the other day, and it made me laugh and it made me smile.
It feels like only yesterday we were jumping up and down with excitement because you’d started crawling, or when you started walking. But what about now? You’re totally fearless. You’ll say “ma-yay. CATCH”, and you’ll launch yourself at me off of the sofa. You’ll climb absolutely anything you can with your brother right behind you, copying everything you do. You know you shouldn’t climb on that piece of furniture, but you do it anyway. You love pushing the boundaries.
You know what? You’re pretty testing at the moment actually, I won’t lie. Blowing raspberries if you’re being told off, sticking your tongue out at me and daddy, pointing your finger and screaming and shaking with rage if something isn’t going your way. Biting Ted and just generally doing things you know you shouldn’t be doing, but it’s ok. You’re learning. You’re growing.
Now that your glue ear has cleared itself up, you’ve started using words. Your speech has come on miles in the last couple of months and we are finally on the road to proper conversations. It’s lovely to hear you repeat things, to hear you try and say something and to watch you listen to the world around you.
So what do you love right now, apart from trains of course? You love being outside. Anything that’s outdoors is the breath of fresh air you need every day. Whether you want to go “aht-side” in the garden, or out on your “bayke” you love getting outdoors. You love water; whether it’s swimming, whether it’s pulling out the hose for the 100th time, whether it’s playing in the water table or whether you’re in the bath. You love being wet!
You love going to the shops, watching the TV, playing on the iPad, doing puzzles and going to see Nanny, Pop and uncle Joshy. There’s only one thing you don’t really love at the moment, and that’s sleeping. You’ve started getting out of bed again, and waking up at silly hours of the morning, only to be grumpy and tired for the rest of the day. But that doesn’t matter. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not happy about being woken up so early, but every minute of the day spent with you is wonderful – even when you’re being a bit of git!
Toby, you are turning into such a well-mannered little boy. You always say “peas” or “ta” and I’m so proud of you. You love your brother beyond measure and I see that when he runs to you for a hug because you’re standing there with open arms. I see it when you’re playing together, sharing and even when you’re rolling around on the floor together. Even when you hit each other, that love still remains. You’re making friends at nursery and I’m sure you can’t wait to go back next week. You’re turning into this incredible little boy who shows me more of his personality every day, defining who you are.
One thing that has remained in all these three years is your smile and your laugh. Your excitement over the little things is infectious. The breath you draw in when you’ve realised something, and then you’ll say “ah knowww”. When daddy gets home from the gym, or from work you and Teddy both run to the door and stamp your feet in anticipation and excitement that he’s going to be coming through that door any second. That’s so adorable, Toby.
What I want you to know is that no matter how much hard work you’ve been for your dad and I during the last few days, weeks, months or years, you will always, always put a smile on my face. We are beyond lucky to have you Toby Simon. Some days you are the reason I get through the day, others you are the reason I struggle, but you are my baby. It’s so hard to believe you were ever in my belly because you’re now so big. You and Teddy are my motivation and I am so grateful to have you. You are one of the most amazing and perfect little human being.
You have made me the happiest and most fulfilled mother in the world and I can’t wait to watch you grow each and every day for another year, and the years after that. And you know when you go to bed and I ask you who you love, you’ll reel everyone off. I love ma-yay. I love daddy. I love Teddy. I love Nanny. I love Pop. I love Joshy. Do you know what Toby Simon?
We love you. We love you more than anything in this whole entire world. I love you with every piece of my heart and more.
Happy third birthday, Doodlebug.
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