This post might end up having far too much information for some of you but I’m going to be brutally honest. When I was pregnant I was told of all the different things I could expect to happen to my body after childbirth and, yes, some of those things did happen. However, there were so many other things that happened which I had no forewarning, or idea of, whatsoever. So you really want to know what they don’t tell you about being post partum?
Of course, this is just from my (so far) one experience of childbirth but I feel that the more prepared you are, the less of a shock some of these things will be.
What They Don’t Tell You About…
Issues After Instrumental Intervention
They don’t tell you that having an assisted birth can cause all sort of problems. I had an assisted birth with forceps which has brought on a whole handful of issues. Unfortunately for me, seven months on, I’m still not sorted and am currently waiting for an appointment to come round! Anyway, I digress as that’s a whole different blog post.
Injections
This will not be the same for every birth but the first thing I had to do was learn to inject myself with Clexane, an anti-blood clot drug, for seven days post birth. I think this is because I’d had an epidural and the anaesthetic had taken ages to wear off. I know some women have to inject this for a longer time than me, throughout their pregnancy even, but nonetheless, something I didn’t expect I’d be doing.
Post Partum Bleeding
One of the most obvious things was the post birth bleeding (lochia). Some people don’t bleed for very long, others for ages. I bled for about three weeks and I found this so hard since I cannot bear sanitary towels of any description; you’re not allowed to use tampons so I had to put up with them. They made me feel so unhygienic, were uncomfortable and just generally not very nice. It also doesn’t help that I was paranoid you could hear it ‘rustling’ around.
Incontinence Is For Old People, Right?
Incontinence is a new experience for me. I only really suffer lightly with it now, mainly when I’m playing sports or in the gym, but for the first few weeks after I came home I genuinely couldn’t hold my bladder for very long, if at all. Not only are your baby’s nappies wet but you might be changing your underwear a lot too. And don’t even mention going for a poo – when I had the urge, I really had the urge and had to go, there and then! They don’t tell you about being able to hold your wind in either – it doesn’t happen. All the health professionals tell you to do your pelvic floor, and you really ought to make the effort. I only did it when I remembered, and I even had reminders on my phone using an app.
Huge Bazuka Boobies!
Big milky boobies! Yes, they’re coming with a vengeance whether you choose to breastfeed or not. I did breastfeed and went from a ‘B cup’ to an ‘E cup’. I became super leaky and ending up putting down a maternity pad between the sheet and mattress, otherwise it would just go straight through to the mattress. Yes, it did stain!
Obviously if you choose not to breastfeed then you tend to ‘dry up’ but you can still get the engorgement when your milk comes in!
Post Partum Hair Loss
I have never lost so much hair in my life. I could literally pull out a whole handful of hair at least twice a day. You don’t lose much hair when you’re pregnant and it’s all glossy and shiny and lovely, so when you’ve given birth you lose everything you would’ve done, plus more! My poor hoover must have collected a good few wigs full. It gets absolutely everywhere too. The only problem I’ve got now is lots of frizzy baby hair where it’s all growing back.
Episiotomies Are Not Fun
My episiotomy was absolutely horrendous. Not only did I have the general pain you’d get with a cut down there but, unbeknownst to me, they had stitched me up on the wonk and it took forever for it to actually get sorted. Sitz baths with some liquid Savlon helped as much as they could and I found that changing sanitary towels and underwear regularly helped lots too. I never dried it with a towel after a bath/shower, I’d either air dry it with my legs open on the bed (men, this is NOT an invitation for sex, or for you to have a good look at the damage) or used a hairdryer – on a low setting, of course!
Prolapse?
I’m convinced I’ve had a slight prolapse, but the nurses and doctors don’t seem to think I have. It’s not protruding out or anything, but it’s just kind of there. I’m also 99% sure this is adding to the other problems I’ve got “down there” for which I’m due to attend an appointment. I just know that it’s not what was normal for me (not that I expect miracles and to have no lasting effects) but surely you know your own body, right?
The After Pains
Ouch, ouch, ouch! I had all my labour pains in my back but every time I breastfed Toby I had the worst contraction type pains in my tummy. Little did I know that this was my uterus contracting back down to pre-pregnancy size and it hurt likes hell. Apparently it gets worse with each child too.
This is by no means an exhaustive list of what kind of things you can expect, but these are the things that I found that they don’t tell you!
I wonder why they don’t tell you these things! I feel like this should all be very obvious and common knowledge but it’s absolutely not. Some of it took me by huge surprise! Did anything happen to you that you didn’t think was going to happen?
Thank you! Women get their hopes too high on everything being “normal” after childbirth. Some of them just don’t realise some of the effects and, if they do, that they are lasting. I’m more than happy to be honest about it, and I’m so glad I’ve been bold enough to write a post that exposes these things. Women shouldn’t be kept in the dark about what the real “normal” things are that they’re likely to experience.
I envy your straightforward births, I have to say. If I’m blessed enough to have more children, through medical advice, I’ve been told I will need caesareans because of the lasting damage of my natural birth. I suppose the only good thing about that, is that what I speak about in the above post, can’t get any worse!
I agree that parents aren’t supported or rewarded enough, although I guess for some people, our reward is our children. And there are always people who would abuse any support or rewards they get, as we already know! Affordable, healthy food would be great if it was readily available. I try, as much as possible, to feed our son only home cooked food. There have been occasions where I’ve fed him with prepared food, but purely because I’ve not caught up with home made meals. I do believe, with the right knowledge, that we can feed our children healthy, balanced diets at affordable prices.
Well done for saying “the things they do not tell you.” If we carry on telling the truth, society will soon have to PAY mothers to have babies! Great – break the silence!
And I speak, un-embittered, as someone who had straightforward births, who gained so much from motherhood etc.
I do however believe parents should be properly supported and rewarded with for instance with excellent free child care and affordable healthy food.