Dear Mums and Dads. Don’t Quit.

Don’t quit. To quit is to stop. And we don’t stop. Ever.

I know. I have been there. I am there. I’m going to be even more there in a few short weeks.

Who cares if your dishes are still in the dishwasher from the night before, if you managed to even do that? Who cares if your linen baskets are full to the brim with dirty pants and spaghetti encrusted tops? Who’s looking at the inch thick layer of dust on the TV? I’ll tell you who. You. Nobody else. Nobody else cares. Do you know why? Because they are not the things that matter.

Toby is only 19 months and there have been quite a few times when I’ve felt like throwing in the parenthood towel, dusting my hands off and saying “I’m done” because I can’t do it any more. My patience has worn so thin and my frustrations have gotten the better of me that I’ve cried in the car, in the shower and behind the toilet door, punched and screamed into a pillow… or two. You feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders and you wonder how you’re ever going to manage it all. How can you look after yourself, children, your boyfriend or husband and your housework? What about work and friends?

I want you to know that you matter. You have given up yourself to be a parent, to nurture these little people and watch them grow. They need us, more than we will ever realise. We have to remember that there will be good days and bad days for a long time yet, but we must also remember that every day is a new day. And what better way to spend those days than to watch our babies grow from toddlers to tweens, teens and adults. I am reminded every day that this does not last forever. The very fact that Toby is almost 20 months old is unbelievable. I remember, as clear as yesterday, him being a tiny little baby that I could lay on my chest and now I can hardly fit him on my lap. Those are the things that matter.

Just know that when times get tough.. you can do this! You are doing this. You will pick yourself up, gather your thoughts, dry those tears, brush yourself down, put a smile on that face and work it. Everything you do matters. Parenthood ideals can be instilled from a young age but they’re all wrong. Do you remember when you were a little girl, playing with your baby doll who fed, wet their nappy, closed their eyes as soon as you laid them down and never cried? They don’t quite work like that in real life do they?

Parenthood is not perfect, and never will be. It’s a long hard slog of a journey, but we do it because the rewards are enormous. Don’t remember the times you think you’ve messed up. Remember the times when you know you’ve done things well. Think you don’t have any? What about when you’ve just been there for the cuddle they wanted? What about all the times you’ve gotten up to them in the night? Read them a story, given them a clap for something small, done a load of washing, fed them, laughing, teaching, tickling? The list is truly endless.

I look Toby in the eyes at least once every day and tell him that I love him, even if he’s already pushed me very close to the edge of snapping. The impact you have on them is enormous and though you may not realise it now, you will reap the rewards soon enough. So you know what? That parenthood towel.. bugger it. It can get thrown 1000 times, but we’ll pick it up together 1001 times because we won’t give up.

You can do it. You will do it. You are doing it. For you, your children, your family. You are a gift.