It’s amazing isn’t it? Just how different you can be from your siblings? I’ve only been thinking about it recently because I seem to be having quite a lot of conversations about how different, or similar, baby number two will be to Toby. It’s very weird for me to think that he won’t look like Toby, will have a different personality and be a completely different person all round.
However, really thinking about it, I’m completely different from all three of my siblings, even though we all have our similarities. I was gifted with the brains – something admitted between the four of us. None of the other three were, or are, academic and while my GCSEs weren’t absolutely amazing, they were good (especially as there was lots going on at the time of my exams.. but we’ll save that for another day).
All of my siblings are younger than me, so I always had “eldest child” sydrome. I was a “mini-parent”, very bossy (I’d just say I have good leadership skills), over-responsible (to a point) and usually well behaved (well, in front of people anyway). Out of the four of us, I was always considered the achiever. Whether this is due to getting a good set of genes, or whether it was because I received a lot of attention as the first born, I’m not sure – maybe it’s a bit of both?
My sister is very good at doing her hair and make up, or maybe I just don’t have the time or don’t really care now that I’m a mum, but either way I’m completely hopeless. That smokey eyed look? More like the “make up smeared around your eyes after a heavy night out” look. That really pretty fishtail braid I long to be able to do is more like the “shove your hair up in a bun because I’m only popping to town” hair do. She has much softer features than I, suits almost any hair colour, and tans well too – although she has a very individual style of dress. As a child and teenager she was pretty mischievous, whereas I was always very cautious about doing “naughty” things, she would certainly test the boundaries. It’s taken us more or less 23 years to actually get on. We now act more like sisters than enemies, which is just as well since she lives just round the corner from me.
My first brother is also pretty intelligent, he just never chose to use it. He’s finally found his “responsible” feet and is starting to prioritise his life at 21 years old. I’ve been doing this ever since I was young. I’m usually forward thinking, have a list for a list and have an idea of how I want things to be and how I’d like things to go. He used to bury his head in the sand and kind of let life pass him by and we were all constantly nagging at him. He’s similar to me in that he’s very stubborn, although his tendency is very extreme. If you upset him, that’s it, no second chances. I’m a little softer and will eventually give up the grudge providing the circumstances are forgivable. He now has his first serious girlfriend, a good job and recently passed his driving test. We’re the athletic ones of the four. Quite happy to participate in sports and really enjoy it, whereas the other two aren’t sporty at all.
My youngest brother is my complete polar opposite. No desire to work or earn his own money – quite happy to live on benefits. The only way in which I can think we are similar is that we don’t like being told what to do. I don’t mind some guidance and a bit of advice, but even this goes in one ear and out of the other with him. You can’t help, advise, tell or suggest anything without it getting his back up… but he knows best. I’ve never even really been able to hold a conversation with him . He was an absolute nightmare during his school years. He also has a young son who’s 6 months older than Toby. I don’t think he’ll ever change or grow up, he’s just one of those people – quite happy to live inside his own little bubble with girlfriend and baby.
To think we’re all so similar, yet just so different is just amazing. And how much of it is nature and nurture? While we have the same parents, we didn’t all have the same upbringing. It’s just a small insight to my siblings, but are you really that different from yours?
J x