Teddy. You’re One.

Teddy, if I had been writing this on paper, you’d probably have seen some splash marks from where there had been tears. Our lives changed forever when one year ago today at 15.41, I became a parent for the second time. You came into our lives in a calm and collected way and you have made such an impact on our lives in, what feels like, only a few days. But you’ve been here for a whole 366 of them, so your birthday would’ve actually been yesterday had it not been a leap year.

I want to cry. I’ve been looking at you over the last week and tears have pricked my eyes on several occasions. I can’t believe you are no longer my baby, although every mother knows any of their children will always be their baby. You have given us less whole nights of sleep than I ever thought possible from a child, the polar opposite to your brother, but would I change it? Never. Because you are my little Ted and seeing your face at 3am, 4am or 5am doesn’t compare to sleep.

I remember the first time I held you after you’d been born. You were warm, waxy and eager to feed. You were 6lb 4oz with a beautiful little head and scrunched up, yet perfect, features. You were so precious. Still are. My heart doesn’t know how to contain it.

You are growing up so fast and I can’t believe that you are probably my last baby. There have been times when you have tested my patience, my sanity even. I will never forget those awful noises you used to make in your moses basket when you were a few weeks old – they used to drive your dad and I crazy! But it’s a part of you, what you were, what you are. And we love you, Teddy.

At the moment you’re so musical. You’ll clap and bop around if a good tune comes on. You can say ‘mum’, ‘dad’, ‘nan’, ‘oh dear’, ‘hello’ and ‘hiya’. If I sing about ‘Tiny Tim the Turtle’ you’ll clap in the right place, you’ll copy lots of noises with your tongue, make sounds by putting your hand to your mouth and you’ll try to pop your cheek if your dad and I do it first. Toby tries to copy too, it’s very cute.

We are so proud of you. You’re learning to stand your ground against your brother. You love to climb on things you shouldn’t, pull all of the books off the shelf only to ignore them afterward and you’re a super water baby. You love the bath and the pool.

I love that you’ll pull my face in for a kiss but I don’t love clearing you up after your dinner. You hate having your face wiped and you down right refuse a bib – you’ll pull it off if I put one on you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many crumbs in one high chair before either.

There is so much more I could say, but most of all know that we are proud of you, we love you more than anything in this world and we are doing our best to be your parents. I hope you have a wonderful 1st birthday Ted Ted, my sweet little sensitive soul. I can’t wait to see how you grow over this next year, but for now I’m going to enjoy you as you are, read you a Dr Seuss book tonight and snuggle you a little bit tighter because soon you’ll be fighting me off!