Feeling a little bit sad about the world

The sadness and atrocities that are currently filling the news, and the world in general, are just beyond my comprehension. It’s not that I don’t have the ability to understand what’s going on because I could read about it, I could research it, I could listen to it all day long. But I choose not to. I probably should keep up with all these attacks on the innocent world and the, quite frankly, arseholes who are behind them, but I don’t.

I’m not going to lie, I’m not really sure what’s going on or why. I’ve never been interested in politics, it’s not my thing and I get so bored listening to what I, more or less, believe to be lies, cover ups and excuses. I wasn’t brought up in a family that had any interest in either. So now you’re probably wondering why I want my say on it? This is more for me to put down my thoughts and feelings about what I do know, and that’s what a blog is about right? I don’t have to be right or wrong and nobody need agree with me.

Paris was attacked last Friday, we all know that, and I didn’t realise how much I’d think about it, or be affected by it. When you think it’s happening so far away it doesn’t seem real that, what you occasionally catch glimpse of on the news, can actually be happening. Until it starts happening so close to home.

I feel sad that this black cloud of terror is slowly starting to hang over the heads of a lot more people. That it is slowly affecting more people, like some kind of foul disease that will take years to eradicate. It certainly leaves me thinking about it a lot more than I would have done at the beginning of last week.

I admit it. I’m scared. I’ve been told I shouldn’t be and that’s what these people want. But who wouldn’t be scared? Who isn’t scared? The thing is, I will not let it stop me living my life. I am no longer safer in one place, than I would be in any other. We are due to go to Belgium next month and members of my family have asked me not to go. To go somewhere ‘safer’ in the UK. But it could happen here, and it could happen to anyone.

The thing that I can’t stop thinking about is the fact that I have brought two children into this world. A world that, right now, I don’t want them to grow up in. It’s not exactly a nice place, is it? I just wish I could protect them from every evil in this world, but that’s instinct. It just makes me sad that the world seems to be getting worse, but they always say it’s got to get worse before it gets better. But will it? What’s being done to reassure people like me, people like you, mums, dads, the future generations, that they will be able to grow up in this world without fear?

It also saddens me that when the news aren’t talking about terror attacks, they are talking about murders. They’d only just finished with the case of one girl’s murder, to have another on their hands. If it’s not one thing, it’s always another. I don’t understand how people can’t just go about their daily lives without doing this kind of stuff. Why do those people have those thoughts? Why do they think they can act upon them? Just get on with a normal life. If you want to do something crazy then go travelling, go volunteer somewhere, do stupid things to hurt yourself, but stop hurting other people.

The only thing we can count on at the minute is hope. Hope that the world will some day be a better place for our children. That some day the world be a nice place for them to raise their own children.

Everyone knows I absolutely adore my kids, and recently I’ve been kissing them twice as hard because I am so grateful that they’re here and safe with me. They both come at me with their big open mouths for kisses and every time they do I’m so thankful. Thankful that these two don’t yet know the devastation that’s been caused in some countries. Thankful that they can still be innocent and be children, unlike some of these Syrian refugee children who know no different. Thankful that they have love. And if everybody had a little more love, the world might just be that little bit lovelier.