A post about ‘push presents’, or should that be ‘presence’?

I’ve heard of push presents before but didn’t actually think they were really a thing – but apparently they are! Not totally sure on what they are, or you can’t quite grasp the concept?

“A push present (also known as a ‘push gift’ or ‘baby bauble’) is a present a new father gives a new mother when she gives birth to their child.” By Wikipedia’s definition anyway. It can apparently be given ahead of the birth, after the birth or possibly mid deliverance of said child – what better incentive to push that bit harder, right? Or how about the ‘presence’ of the actual father being much more worthwhile than something of monetary value?

I’m not against things like this, I mean it’s completely each to their own, but it’s just another money spinner isn’t it? Before I even looked it up properly (you know, to do some research) I suspected I probably wouldn’t be a huge fan of what it entailed, and I was right.

Linda Murray from BabyCenter.com says ‘it’s more and more an expectation of moms these days that they deserve something for bearing the burden for nine months, getting sick, ruining their body. The guilt really gets piled on.’ Other sources trace the development of the present to the increased assertiveness of women, allowing them to ask for a present more directly, or the increased involvement of the men in pregnancy, making them more informed of the pain and difficulties of pregnancy and labor.” For starters, ruining my body? Linda’s a dick.

Apparently, Kim Kardashian has asked for a $1 million choker necklace by Lorraine Schwartz. I mean, yes we go through a LOT to carry children but most of us do it without expecting a ridiculous reward for it. It’s so lovely to get a ‘well done’ or a ‘great job’, some verbal praise goes a long way but there are clearly those who are slightly more material and I guess they need to have something in their hands to feel like they’ve done something good.

As if somehow it makes the effects of post birth much more bearable. ‘Thanks so much for my Mulberry handbag sweetheart, that’s really going to help me when I sneeze and pee myself”, “oh darling, that car is fabulous. Every time my boobs leak and I get up 20 times a night it won’t matter because I have this wonderful leather interior”. Pah, what a load of rubbish.

I did not go through 9 months of pregnancy, have morning sickness, endure sciatica, have myself cut open in unfathomable places to have a baby literally pulled out of my vagina/belly, to then be faced with having my nipples almost hoovered up on an almost hourly basis or fall asleep sitting up out of sheer exhaustion for that bloody handbag or car! I did it because I wanted to be someone’s mother – is that not reward enough?

Although I joked to my other half about getting something for pushing this baby out, I’d rather he actually did something useful. I’ve got some ideas instead of that Mulberry handbag, or that million dollar choker.

Get up in the night with the baby. Give me a lay in. Provide for our family. Love me. Love the baby. Don’t go out with wandering eyes. Forget sex for a while. Fill up the dishwasher. Do some hoovering. Clean a toilet. Bring me chocolate (white). Cook tea. Be by my side. Be my support. Be a father to your child. Take the time to bond with me and the baby.

I’d prefer to look at a sparkling toilet than a sparkling diamond ring on my finger. I don’t know about you.